Lies Society Told Me

I remember being in high school and my teachers telling me that college would lead to a better life, and more money.

Guess what. I went to college. I graduated in four years-- not the national average of five. I did an internship.

And where am I now.

Living back home, working a part time job, looking for a second job, and over $10,000 in debt.

Wonderful.

It's is so frustrating that I did the correct life path and went to college, yet I feel like if I just went to work out of high school I would be doing better.  I'm sure if I lived in any state that valued education in any way this may be a different situation, but no I live in KY where a factory job pays $15/hr and teacher have second jobs in the summer to be able to have money during summer break.

I don't know what is worse seeing my loser-ness after going to college or realizing that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Any suggestions?

Still Just Going

So I'm still working at my part time job. Luckily, I love my co-workers. They are sublimely wonderful. They make my work day fly by.  But now I need to really figure out what I want out of life. I still have no idea. I'm going to file the FASFA just in case I decide to go back to school in the fall. I like to plan for all things, the curse and the benefit of being a girl scout.

My love life is just as a mess as my work/life decision situation. I have no idea what I want or need. I just feel like I'm going to end up an old maid. My co-workers say that dumb to think, but I disagree. I live in a town where meeting people in their twenties, outside of college, is very difficult. There aren't trendy places where everyone goes. There's an Applebee's---I'm not even going there.

So in all in six months, nothing changed. Even now I'm alone.
and maybe forever.

At Least It's Something

After months and months of job searching I found a job.  It's only part time, but it will help me start to save money again and I get to begin paying off student loans here soon.  I can't help but laugh because I got a B.A. in History and am currently a part time teller at a local bank.  Why did I go to college again?  This recession is really hurting me.  I remember being in high school and everyone always saying that a college degree was the ticket to earning more money and living a great life, but not anymore.  I'm starting to worry that I will have to move away to find something that truly makes me happy and also allows for the repayment of my loans.

A Flood

So today I bit the bullet and applied for a server job at Applebee's.  I'm waiting for a call because the manager wanted to call my references, which is fine because my references are solid.  Then I called my mother.

Now this could go either way.  But when I called her she told me the place I have been trying to get on for the entire summer [ Yes, their application process has been this long] will be making their calls next week.

So my question is do I take the server job and then leave shortly [very shortly] after for the other one?
What if I do that and then I get the VISTA position? Won't that look bad to future employers?

I hate having so many things thrown at me at once. It so nerve racking when it will shape your future.

The Waiting Game

The waiting game. We have all played it and know its agony.  I am currently unemployed, not because I'm not trying though.  I have applied for dozen and dozens of jobs.  I was wanting one for the summer because I am applying for an Amercorps VISTA position, actually multiple of them.  I finally got a call from my dream position and had a phone interview with the "team". 

I felt like the interview went really well.  I know the position and the non profits they work with.  I also know the city well.  This is what I want.  There is no doubt.  I'm so scared that it won't get it--that I will continue to get passed over and wind up back at home.

So now I sit and wait.

Life's Purpose

I have made the decision to put off graduate school this fall.  Many people my age are going straight there, but I can't justify spending that much money right now.

Now I know education is not a waste of money, I just don't know what I want to go to school for.  Interning and volunteering at different museums makes me realize that I enjoy museum work.  Volunteering at homeless shelters and other non-profits makes me realize how much I enjoy making a difference to people.  And history- I love history.  I want to make people excited about history like I am.

I graduate in May and I can start work in April, but I just don't know what to do.  I plan on working for the next year, hopefully doing something I like and something that is on the track of one of these three aspects.  I want to go to grad school, but only after I know exactly what I want to do.

Any thoughts?

I volunteered to raise money for Bowl For Kid's Sake for Big Brothers Big Sisters.  I thought it would be great, but it has not gone well in the slightest. I feel awful.  Since I am in a new city, where I don't know anyone I haven't been able to go directly to people and ask for money.  I have relied on the internet, and that has failed.

So if you're reading this and you're in a giving mood go to:
http://tinyurl.com/ygw2uvt
find Morgan Reck and donate at that page.

Thanks