One Small Helping Hand

Lies Society Told Me

2011-03-16T00:13:00.000-04:00

I remember being in high school and my teachers telling me that college would lead to a better life, and more money.

Guess what. I went to college. I graduated in four years-- not the national average of five. I did an internship.

And where am I now.

Living back home, working a part time job, looking for a second job, and over $10,000 in debt.

Wonderful.

It's is so frustrating that I did the correct life path and went to college, yet I feel like if I just went to work out of high school I would be doing better. I'm sure if I lived in any state that valued education in any way this may be a different situation, but no I live in KY where a factory job pays $15/hr and teacher have second jobs in the summer to be able to have money during summer break.

I don't know what is worse seeing my loser-ness after going to college or realizing that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Any suggestions?

Still Just Going

2011-02-19T22:27:00.000-05:00

So I'm still working at my part time job. Luckily, I love my co-workers. They are sublimely wonderful. They make my work day fly by. But now I need to really figure out what I want out of life. I still have no idea. I'm going to file the FASFA just in case I decide to go back to school in the fall. I like to plan for all things, the curse and the benefit of being a girl scout.

My love life is just as a mess as my work/life decision situation. I have no idea what I want or need. I just feel like I'm going to end up an old maid. My co-workers say that dumb to think, but I disagree. I live in a town where meeting people in their twenties, outside of college, is very difficult. There aren't trendy places where everyone goes. There's an Applebee's---I'm not even going there.

So in all in six months, nothing changed. Even now I'm alone.
and maybe forever.

At Least It's Something

2010-08-06T17:49:00.000-04:00

After months and months of job searching I found a job. It's only part time, but it will help me start to save money again and I get to begin paying off student loans here soon. I can't help but laugh because I got a B.A. in History and am currently a part time teller at a local bank. Why did I go to college again? This recession is really hurting me. I remember being in high school and everyone always saying that a college degree was the ticket to earning more money and living a great life, but not anymore. I'm starting to worry that I will have to move away to find something that truly makes me happy and also allows for the repayment of my loans.

A Flood

2010-06-29T19:28:00.000-04:00

So today I bit the bullet and applied for a server job at Applebee's. I'm waiting for a call because the manager wanted to call my references, which is fine because my references are solid. Then I called my mother.

Now this could go either way. But when I called her she told me the place I have been trying to get on for the entire summer [ Yes, their application process has been this long] will be making their calls next week.

So my question is do I take the server job and then leave shortly [very shortly] after for the other one?
What if I do that and then I get the VISTA position? Won't that look bad to future employers?

I hate having so many things thrown at me at once. It so nerve racking when it will shape your future.

The Waiting Game

2010-06-28T20:41:00.000-04:00

The waiting game. We have all played it and know its agony. I am currently unemployed, not because I'm not trying though. I have applied for dozen and dozens of jobs. I was wanting one for the summer because I am applying for an Amercorps VISTA position, actually multiple of them. I finally got a call from my dream position and had a phone interview with the "team".

I felt like the interview went really well. I know the position and the non profits they work with. I also know the city well. This is what I want. There is no doubt. I'm so scared that it won't get it--that I will continue to get passed over and wind up back at home.

So now I sit and wait.

Life's Purpose

2010-03-13T21:33:00.000-05:00

I have made the decision to put off graduate school this fall. Many people my age are going straight there, but I can't justify spending that much money right now.

Now I know education is not a waste of money, I just don't know what I want to go to school for. Interning and volunteering at different museums makes me realize that I enjoy museum work. Volunteering at homeless shelters and other non-profits makes me realize how much I enjoy making a difference to people. And history- I love history. I want to make people excited about history like I am.

I graduate in May and I can start work in April, but I just don't know what to do. I plan on working for the next year, hopefully doing something I like and something that is on the track of one of these three aspects. I want to go to grad school, but only after I know exactly what I want to do.

Any thoughts?

2010-02-28T22:44:00.000-05:00

I volunteered to raise money for Bowl For Kid's Sake for Big Brothers Big Sisters. I thought it would be great, but it has not gone well in the slightest. I feel awful. Since I am in a new city, where I don't know anyone I haven't been able to go directly to people and ask for money. I have relied on the internet, and that has failed.

So if you're reading this and you're in a giving mood go to:
http://tinyurl.com/ygw2uvt
find Morgan Reck and donate at that page.

Thanks

Making a Positive Change

2010-02-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

OK, so my New Year's resolution was to lose weight. I know-not original, but I meant it. Last year I gave up soda, which I hoped would make me lose weight. It didn't.

I even signed up for a gym membership here in Frankfort. Sad thing is I haven't used it--not once. I tell myself it is because I have such an irregular schedule, but the truth is I hate the gym. It's always full of already skinny people who are there just to meet other skinny people. It's nerve racking.

So I've decided that next week WILL be the week that I use the membership. I mean why pay for it if I'm not using it? I want to go at least Wednesdays and Fridays after work. Mondays I have class until 7:30pm and let's face it- it's hard to feel motivated that late.

I have made strides in the area of my diet. I've been eating those healthy choice lunch things. I have less than 400 calories everyday for lunch. I have lost some weight because of this--I can tell because my black pants fit better and have become my favorite pair for work.

I wish I had someone to go with. My boyfriend has a membership too, but I can't work out in front of him. I'm way too out of shape for that, plus I hate having men around when I'm at the gym. While I'm having fun and learning a lot in Frankfort, I'm missing my friends.

A Different View of History

2010-02-18T17:28:00.000-05:00

Today, I had the opportunity to watch the play "Theater of War" at the Kentucky History Center (I recommend it for everyone). It was so powerful and so amazing. I started to get that glossy eye feeling right before you cry--when I realized I was surrounded by a large theater class from K-State. I was not about to cry in front of them, especially because they would have no idea why I was crying.

I wanted to cry because of the story BEHIND the play. Before I ever saw the play a co-worker told me the story of one of the men who the play is based on.

He was a teacher and then went to Vietnam, where he would be killed. When his things were shipped back to the family they never opened his bag. It was too hard for them. They donated his belongings to the museum last year and were there when the curators opened the bag--for the first time ever. The family cried and reminisced about him.

The man also had a sister and she had not talked about his death since it happened. She was at the play's premiere last November and told workers how much the play meant to her.

That's when a light bulb went on in my head. We need a way, besides museum theatre, that attracts people to history. We need to tell the stories.

The stories are what people want to hear. Seeing the stuff is cool and all, but how can they relate to those things. We need to show how history is affecting us and how people of the past had things in common with us today.

But how do we do that?

Signs

2010-02-15T21:00:00.001-05:00

I use to not believe in signs. I thought they were silly. I believed only religiously zealous people saw them, and then one had to take those with a grain of salt. Now I believe in signs more than most people.

Starting my junior of college I got began getting an endowment scholarship named 'The Dr. Thomas Clark History Scholarship', I didn't know who the guy was and I didn't particularly care- I was getting extra money for school. During Fall break of that year I was driving to Louisville and saw the sign for the Thomas Clark Center for Kentucky History and bells started to go off in my head. There is a reading room on campus named for him filled with items relating to Kentucky history. I became instantly intrigued.

That summer I began volunteering at the Lexington History Museum. I volunteered there because I am a history major and thought it would look good on a resume. I also needed to finish up 20 americorp hours. While there I found out it was founded by Dr. Clark.

It was at this point that I began to believe that there was something behind all these connections.

During last semester a man from AIKCU came to speak to the Bonner Leader program about an opportunity to intern in Frankfort. I listened and became really interested. The internship was with legislatures. After the lecture I was able to speak one on one with the speaker. After talking about my interests with him he told me there is a spot for an intern at the Thomas Clark Center for Kentucky History.

I knew that was were I was meant to be -- I felt like Alice chasing the white rabbit.

Well I chased the white rabbit and am happy I did. This opportunity is helping me find where I need to be in life--even if I don't know where that is just yet.

Week 2

2010-02-01T00:35:00.000-05:00

So my second week at the history center has come to a close. I was pleased with how this week went. I was given a lot more responsibility and less supervision, which I really enjoyed. I worked on a specific research oriented task all week and that was a little daunting, but I accomplished it and was told it was "perfect". Now I doubt it was perfect, but I am proud to put out something that someone feels is up to par with their expectations.

This week I am starting work in a different office. I am going to be helping with the planning of an event to end the Lincoln Bicentennial and the kick-off to the Civil War Sesquicentennial. I am really excited about this project. I have also decided this will be my topic for my pseudo- research paper for one of the seminar classes.

I'm going to try and be more regular with my blogging- of only to help alleviate my stress levels.

My First Week

2010-01-24T00:34:00.000-05:00

I have just concluded my first week at my internship. I am working at a history museum in Frankfort, KY. I have been working with education and am learning so much. I started out my week thinking I had no idea what I was doing and pondering if I was only going to look dumb doing this. Now I've become comfortable in the tasks I am given and yearn for more. I want more responsibility. I get to the office sometimes 15 minutes early and I have to sit around until whoever I am working with that day to arrive tell more what I need to be doing. I look forward to really diving head first into my work and getting things done.

A New Leaf

2009-12-10T13:05:00.000-05:00

It has come to my attention that this blog no longer needs to be used for my Bonner reflections. So I am now going to use this as my own personal space to talk about anything, not just my amazing volunteer opportunities.

Since I am beginning an internship in January and this should be interesting.

Untitled

2009-03-25T21:22:00.000-04:00

So this week the lady I do my site under is out of her office, but I helped out with Prime Time Reading at the public library. Doing it is so fun. I love seeing the kids get excited about reading. I love watching a whole new generation of nerds coming up!

Out of My Comfort Zone

2009-03-08T20:04:00.000-04:00

So this week I decided to help with the book fair Col. Wm. Casey. I was super nervous about doing it because I never work with kids. To me kids are scarier than wild animals. But it went well and I actually really enjoyed myself.

Animal Shelter

2009-02-13T12:03:00.000-05:00

This has been the first week that I have gone to my new site, the Green River Animal Shelter. I really like it there even though my thoughts often slip into the dark corners about what will happen to these animals if no one adopts them.

My Hope

2009-01-27T23:02:00.000-05:00

My Hope for the Future-

On a wide scale my hope is that Americans rise up to the challenges that we all face and learn to work together to find a solution. I hope that we become more able to look beyond the covers and facades of each other, and begin to work together to find solutions and fixes to the problems that plague our nation. My hope is that the nation will come together and realize that we are not perfect and look outwards as well as inwards to find solutions. I hope that we as a people can begin to look at ourselves and find something we can offer to another and give that with all our hearts.

What will you do to make your country, your community, a better place?

I will give something of myself to my neighbors. I will plant a seed of community service. Personally, I plan on doing the Peace Corp for two years immediately out of college. I want to make an impact on people. I want people to make an impact on me.

Thanksgiving Week

2008-11-26T13:07:00.000-05:00

I got to feed all by myself. That's huge! I didn't freak out..I didn'tcry. Even huger!

Back in the Swing of Things

2008-11-22T13:50:00.000-05:00

So this week was my first time back to my site in a couple of weeks. But it is okay, my site coordinator is amazing and understands how life and school sometimes become overwhelming. I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer go to my site everyday without dropping the ball on something. So I am starting to go twice a week. That's my plan. Let's hope it works.

Fall Break 2008

2008-10-18T15:50:00.000-04:00

This past week has been amazing. I went to New York City for a Residence Life trip, and I did way more than just site-see. Three of my days were spent volunteering at God's Love We Deliver. The organization creates, prepares, and delivers meals to people with terminal illnesses and their family. I spent two out of the three days there in the kitchen, helping prepare meals. On the second day I did van deliveries to Brooklyn. Brooklyn was hard to be in, not because it was different, but because I saw the way people lived and I don't understand why. Some of the people lived in places that reeked of urine. Some of the apartments seemed so small and cramped that I was amazed that multiple people lived there.

Van deliveries were my favorite because I got to meet alot of nice and grateful people. One woman I delivered to thanked me for the birthday cake that she got the day before. She told me it was the only one she got. I almost cried on the spot.

What will it take for our society to stop making outcasts of people who need our help?

Reflection

2008-09-23T00:38:00.000-04:00

"What cause are you most passionate about? How important is this issue in your choice to support a particular presidential candidate?"

To pick one issue or cause is so difficult. Poverty, Education, Economics, Healthcare..these are all connected. All the issues are important and I believe we need change, fundamental change in all these areas.

We need to help people overcome poverty. We need to make it easier to get off welfare, rather than causing more problems therefore keeping people on foodstamps. Poverty also needs to stopped being stimatized as this awful thing people do to themselves. We need to offer hand ups, not handouts.

Education is more messed up then ever. We are teaching to test, just to make sure teachers can keep their jobs and schools can get funding. Education needs to be about learning. Active learning. We need to make sure our future can provide and think for themselves. We need to continue to make competant generations.

Our economy is at a low second only to the Great Depression. I refuse to pay for others mistakes. It is not my fault that the government and large companies let people take out loans and mortages that they knew they couldn't pay. Individual responsibility. Now I don't believe it is only the individuals' fault for these loans. Someone gave them to them. And they must suffer as well.

Healthcare needs to be a priority. We as a nation need to give our citizens reliable healthcare. Where along the line did the hippocratic oath turn into the insurance company can have my soul oath. Doctors need to be able to practice to the best of their ability without having hospital administrators and insurance companies breathing down their necks.

It is no question that I am casting my vote for Obama in November. I believe he represents the change that the nation has been going through since the Civil Rights movement, and can bring real change. I don't think he's tainted by Washington. I believe he is open-minded and can unite this country.

I don't believe he can solve all our problems. In fact, I know he can't. Congress has to. And I think people forget that sometimes.

A Normal Week

2008-09-19T12:15:00.000-04:00

This week nothing too exciting happened. At Mountainview we cleaned the grounds pretty good. We are getting it ready for a representative and his wife to come look at it. I'm really happy for this opportunity. If he and/or his wife like the place they may donate. And donations are greatly appreciated.

On a personal note: I am really starting to see a difference with my attitude with the horses. I can walk around them and not get nervous. I even walk up to them and pet them as if they are little and powerless. I quite proud of myself.

It was a sad day.

2008-09-14T00:37:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I spent the day at the Green River Animal Shelter. The shelter itself serves three different counties and therefore maintains itself at maximum capacity almost of the time. Well yesterday was the first time I have ever been there on the day where they put down animals. I had maintained a safe distance from the room they were doing it in and kept myself busy so I wouldn't think about it. I had a question and went to the surgery room, where they do the procedure, because everyone was back there and there on the cold, metal table was a bassett hound that had given birth a couple weeks ago. I almost cried on the spot. I then had to help "disponse" of the body. Almost cried again. Being there for 4 hours was tough, I wonder how these people work there everyday? One thing is for sure. I will never buy another pet from a private seller. I will always always go to a shelter first.

Conquering the Day

2008-09-05T01:35:00.000-04:00

Today was the first real day of being at Mountainview Rescue and helping with the horses and I feel great. I am terrified of horses, and I was super nervous about going out there. When I got there the horses came straight towards me; I could feel myself start to shake. Soon after I got to know and pet all the horses and I am starting to get comfortable around those horses. Only those specific horses.

Choosing a Site

2008-09-02T23:57:00.000-04:00

I am super excited about my site at the Mountainview Rescue. I really feel like I will be helping and be making a difference; if only for a few people and horses. But isn't that where changing the world starts? With just a few people. Well I guess I am on my way to changing the world.

.:Morgan:.